Bright Eyes has new computer skills.
He can turn it on, get the internet up, type 'Thomas' into Google and then get himself to the Thomas the Tank Engine website, where he goes to the games section and plays each of them all by himself.
How did he learn it? By watching us, by being interested in spelling and typing, and by watching his sister take him through a variety of kids' computer games over the last few months.
I'm delighted (although I'm limiting the time he plays...)
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Homeopathy
I haven't spoken much yet about the homeopathy that we've been exploring.
I began seeing our homeopath at the beginning of the year when my daughter was still coughing an unexplained bark, a year and a half after she started. We went through the children's hospital system and tried everything we could find to fix it, with no success.
A month of homeopathic treatments, however, and she was pretty much cough-free. I was amazed and asked "Can you do anything for Bright Eyes?"
She said she was still learning about autism but was willing to give it a go, so a few months later, we began a few doses of various potions. Up until two weeks ago, I would have said I wasn't sure any of them were doing anything, but the latest one has had some good effects.
For a start, his bowel movements have become normal. This is amazing for a child who has had squishy, icky, stinky poos for the whole of his four years. This is the effect that is easy to quantify because I can see it in his nappy.
Harder to prove are his improvements in comprehension and processing. He can answer more questions, he is expressing more opinions and he can process logic much more effectively and see connections between things that he missed before. I can see a lot of improvements even in the last two weeks (in between cranky periods) which I think I can put down to the homeopathy, in conjunction with RDI.
The homeopath is also the main encouragement for Bright Eyes to go on the SCD diet. I am currently still trying out recipes. Getting a reasonable substitute for crackers is my big problem, but we'll see how we go.
I began seeing our homeopath at the beginning of the year when my daughter was still coughing an unexplained bark, a year and a half after she started. We went through the children's hospital system and tried everything we could find to fix it, with no success.
A month of homeopathic treatments, however, and she was pretty much cough-free. I was amazed and asked "Can you do anything for Bright Eyes?"
She said she was still learning about autism but was willing to give it a go, so a few months later, we began a few doses of various potions. Up until two weeks ago, I would have said I wasn't sure any of them were doing anything, but the latest one has had some good effects.
For a start, his bowel movements have become normal. This is amazing for a child who has had squishy, icky, stinky poos for the whole of his four years. This is the effect that is easy to quantify because I can see it in his nappy.
Harder to prove are his improvements in comprehension and processing. He can answer more questions, he is expressing more opinions and he can process logic much more effectively and see connections between things that he missed before. I can see a lot of improvements even in the last two weeks (in between cranky periods) which I think I can put down to the homeopathy, in conjunction with RDI.
The homeopath is also the main encouragement for Bright Eyes to go on the SCD diet. I am currently still trying out recipes. Getting a reasonable substitute for crackers is my big problem, but we'll see how we go.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Christmas post mortem
We survived! And in the end, quite happily. Here's how it went down.
Christmas Eve
My big 'clever' idea was to do family presents in the afternoon to save hassles the next morning. Ha. It was a complete and utter disaster.
It began when the two year old brother got the first present - a Thomas the Tank Engine something or other. Bright Eyes went off. He wanted it, and his brother wanted it, and they both screamed and yelled.
From there it did not settle down. Bright Eyes was overwhelmed by everything, jealous of his brother, there was paper and stuff everywhere and he kept yelling "J (his brother), move away! Move away J!"
By the end of it, my husband and I were exhausted, despondent and completely morose. He went off to run two more services. I cleaned up, calmed them all down and took them to church. The day was over. (Oh yes, except for the baby then hitting his face on a drum kit and needing a stitch...)
Christmas Day
With 24 adults and loads of kids at the lunch, we decided we wouldn't take any risks when it came to present time. Daddy took Bright Eyes and his presents into another room upstairs and opened everything quietly with him. It worked beautifully and he had a wonderful afternoon.
On the food front, he ate junk all day... GF/CF junk thankfully... but he did live on chips and crackers. Oh well.
Boxing Day
Yet another family party with presents. This time he coped with opening them in the same room with everyone else, but he started to get overwhelmed once it got noisy and messy, so as soon as I saw the signs, I moved him into the bedroom where he played happily by himself.
Presents
He got so much Thomas stuff that I think we are singlehandedly propping up the franchise. Mind you, I didn't buy any of it except the bicycle helmet. What we bought him was a two wheeler bike with training wheels, which, after the initial traumas, he now likes and is becoming very skilled at riding up and down. He even went down to the bike track with sister and dad the other day!
Christmas Eve
My big 'clever' idea was to do family presents in the afternoon to save hassles the next morning. Ha. It was a complete and utter disaster.
It began when the two year old brother got the first present - a Thomas the Tank Engine something or other. Bright Eyes went off. He wanted it, and his brother wanted it, and they both screamed and yelled.
From there it did not settle down. Bright Eyes was overwhelmed by everything, jealous of his brother, there was paper and stuff everywhere and he kept yelling "J (his brother), move away! Move away J!"
By the end of it, my husband and I were exhausted, despondent and completely morose. He went off to run two more services. I cleaned up, calmed them all down and took them to church. The day was over. (Oh yes, except for the baby then hitting his face on a drum kit and needing a stitch...)
Christmas Day
With 24 adults and loads of kids at the lunch, we decided we wouldn't take any risks when it came to present time. Daddy took Bright Eyes and his presents into another room upstairs and opened everything quietly with him. It worked beautifully and he had a wonderful afternoon.
On the food front, he ate junk all day... GF/CF junk thankfully... but he did live on chips and crackers. Oh well.
Boxing Day
Yet another family party with presents. This time he coped with opening them in the same room with everyone else, but he started to get overwhelmed once it got noisy and messy, so as soon as I saw the signs, I moved him into the bedroom where he played happily by himself.
Presents
He got so much Thomas stuff that I think we are singlehandedly propping up the franchise. Mind you, I didn't buy any of it except the bicycle helmet. What we bought him was a two wheeler bike with training wheels, which, after the initial traumas, he now likes and is becoming very skilled at riding up and down. He even went down to the bike track with sister and dad the other day!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Christmas - the silly season
Christmas. How is it going to work?
Here are all the factors I'm putting together in my mind to plan it out.
My husband is a minister, so he's busy this time of year. We went to two services today, he has another two on Christmas Eve, and two on Christmas morning. We normally go in the mornings at 9.30, but we have to go to Christmas Eve as well because my daughter is in the kids' band. My husband will have to leave the house by 7.30am on Christmas morning.
We've already been to one big Family Party and Bright Eyes really only just coped. We have another two to go - Christmas lunch and afternoon, and then on Boxing Day. He will need as much down time as possible in order to get through them with minimal disruption to everyone.
He'll be tired in the next few days, so I'm loathe to wake him before his normal waking time of 8.30am. Also, I don't think he will get that he should wake early on Christmas morning.
It would be nice to have a good amount of time to play with presents before we have to leave and go do this and that and see lots of people.
Putting all that together, my plan is to have our Christmas presents early in the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and then go to the 5pm service together.
We won't have any family presents on Christmas morning (except maybe one for the eight year old who will be up with the birds.) I and the kids will stay home from church and have a very quiet morning getting ready and playing with new toys before we leave to drive an hour for the family Christmas lunch.
My husband said, "But that will spoil Christmas Day being special" and I said, "It's only one year. Give him enough time and space to cope, or he will spoil Christmas Day for everyone else." He agreed.
I'm also going to take a walkman and story tape to the family party, plus a DVD or two, just in case of a meltdown.
Happy Christmas to you all. And thanks for reading.
Here are all the factors I'm putting together in my mind to plan it out.
My husband is a minister, so he's busy this time of year. We went to two services today, he has another two on Christmas Eve, and two on Christmas morning. We normally go in the mornings at 9.30, but we have to go to Christmas Eve as well because my daughter is in the kids' band. My husband will have to leave the house by 7.30am on Christmas morning.
We've already been to one big Family Party and Bright Eyes really only just coped. We have another two to go - Christmas lunch and afternoon, and then on Boxing Day. He will need as much down time as possible in order to get through them with minimal disruption to everyone.
He'll be tired in the next few days, so I'm loathe to wake him before his normal waking time of 8.30am. Also, I don't think he will get that he should wake early on Christmas morning.
It would be nice to have a good amount of time to play with presents before we have to leave and go do this and that and see lots of people.
Putting all that together, my plan is to have our Christmas presents early in the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and then go to the 5pm service together.
We won't have any family presents on Christmas morning (except maybe one for the eight year old who will be up with the birds.) I and the kids will stay home from church and have a very quiet morning getting ready and playing with new toys before we leave to drive an hour for the family Christmas lunch.
My husband said, "But that will spoil Christmas Day being special" and I said, "It's only one year. Give him enough time and space to cope, or he will spoil Christmas Day for everyone else." He agreed.
I'm also going to take a walkman and story tape to the family party, plus a DVD or two, just in case of a meltdown.
Happy Christmas to you all. And thanks for reading.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Just us
Bright Eyes had a great day today.
He was happy, calm and fun to be with. We made juice, we played 'mummy and baby tigers', we painted together and we made silly faces at each other for a long time.
What made the difference? A couple of things.
1. We had nowhere to be and nothing to do except hang out.
2. It was just him and me all day because the baby brother was at day care and the big sister was at school.
He seemed a lot more relaxed on his own, and I was more relaxed without having to deal with three little children's needs all day.
When he started to get oppositional or refuse to do something and yell "I won't", I started to yell it back at him in just the same tone, as if I was making fun of him. He looked surprised and then stopped the yelling. I said things like, "You sound like a huge lion when you do that!" or "You sound like an angry hippopotamus." It got a smile and defused the tension.
When both the other children came home, Bright Eyes began to get difficult and tense again, and I found it much harder to keep the calm again with two other children reacting to him as well.
It makes me wonder if I should plan one day with just him at home next year. It might make a big difference in his calm levels.
He was happy, calm and fun to be with. We made juice, we played 'mummy and baby tigers', we painted together and we made silly faces at each other for a long time.
What made the difference? A couple of things.
1. We had nowhere to be and nothing to do except hang out.
2. It was just him and me all day because the baby brother was at day care and the big sister was at school.
He seemed a lot more relaxed on his own, and I was more relaxed without having to deal with three little children's needs all day.
When he started to get oppositional or refuse to do something and yell "I won't", I started to yell it back at him in just the same tone, as if I was making fun of him. He looked surprised and then stopped the yelling. I said things like, "You sound like a huge lion when you do that!" or "You sound like an angry hippopotamus." It got a smile and defused the tension.
When both the other children came home, Bright Eyes began to get difficult and tense again, and I found it much harder to keep the calm again with two other children reacting to him as well.
It makes me wonder if I should plan one day with just him at home next year. It might make a big difference in his calm levels.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
And, shock horror...
... I have actually started to read about homeschooling.
This is a massive departure from my previous thoughts about education.
It has come about because so many other RDI parents seem to be homeschooling their children. The problem with regular schooling seems to be that they get too tired to do any RDI learning, and it doesn't help with learning flexible thinking or co-regulation.
I am currently looking into Enki education. I'd be interested to hear from others who are doing something similar.
This is a massive departure from my previous thoughts about education.
It has come about because so many other RDI parents seem to be homeschooling their children. The problem with regular schooling seems to be that they get too tired to do any RDI learning, and it doesn't help with learning flexible thinking or co-regulation.
I am currently looking into Enki education. I'd be interested to hear from others who are doing something similar.
Cuddle cuddle cuddle
Today, finally, amongst all the end of year Christmas shemozzle, was a day where we didn't have to go anywhere, and we didn't have to do anything much.
I found that Bright Eyes was a lot calmer with the slower pace. In the times when he did start being oppositional, I just said, "You need a cuddle", hauled him on to my lap, and waited with him for a while - about two to three minutes. Then he recovered himself, and went back to do what I had suggested in the first place.
We did lots of 'together' activities. He asked to have a picnic in the lounge room, so we went to get the picnic rug together. Then we chose what we could eat together. After that, he helped me roll up the rug (he picked my pilates mat... not exactly picnicesque, but hey, it was comfortable) and we put it back together.
When eventually we did get in the car to do a few stops at some shops, he started refusing to get out of the car, but again, a cuddle in the back seat and at times, carrying him for a little bit, did the trick.
In general, it was a calm morning, not because he was perfect, but because I was going slow enough to avert the traumas.
This is progress, right?
I found that Bright Eyes was a lot calmer with the slower pace. In the times when he did start being oppositional, I just said, "You need a cuddle", hauled him on to my lap, and waited with him for a while - about two to three minutes. Then he recovered himself, and went back to do what I had suggested in the first place.
We did lots of 'together' activities. He asked to have a picnic in the lounge room, so we went to get the picnic rug together. Then we chose what we could eat together. After that, he helped me roll up the rug (he picked my pilates mat... not exactly picnicesque, but hey, it was comfortable) and we put it back together.
When eventually we did get in the car to do a few stops at some shops, he started refusing to get out of the car, but again, a cuddle in the back seat and at times, carrying him for a little bit, did the trick.
In general, it was a calm morning, not because he was perfect, but because I was going slow enough to avert the traumas.
This is progress, right?
Monday, December 17, 2007
Back to basics... again
Today was another of 'those days', where Bright Eyes just couldn't cope with anything. He tantrumed to turn off the TV, get in the car, go into the shops. He tantrumed at lunch, dinner and bath, and then again at bed. It was all too much.
So when it came time for RDI lab time, I decided to play it cool and take it very easy. I hardly used any words at all, and concentrated on physical co-regulation. We rocked a lot of the time, him sitting on my lap. We moved front and back, and then side to side, and then when I thought he was calm enough, we circled around together.
I tried to get him to play a finger game with me at one point early on, but he couldn't cope with the interaction so we went to a row-row action which was easier for him.
By the end he was well regulated and was able to cope with a 'falling in the mud and cleaning up' game with me, but in general, everything I did was all very slow, quiet and rhythmic.
Calming down after tantrums
I seem to be getting better at calming him down when he really throws a wobbly. I hold him on my lap (and he's happy to have the cuddles) and just rock back and forward gently. After ten minutes, or when I judge he's peaceful enough, I make a comment on something we can both see, or something about him. Eg. "There's a bird in the garden" or "You've got ten toes on your feet." I don't offer questions or abstract ideas - he seems to calm quicker if he focuses on something concrete.
So when it came time for RDI lab time, I decided to play it cool and take it very easy. I hardly used any words at all, and concentrated on physical co-regulation. We rocked a lot of the time, him sitting on my lap. We moved front and back, and then side to side, and then when I thought he was calm enough, we circled around together.
I tried to get him to play a finger game with me at one point early on, but he couldn't cope with the interaction so we went to a row-row action which was easier for him.
By the end he was well regulated and was able to cope with a 'falling in the mud and cleaning up' game with me, but in general, everything I did was all very slow, quiet and rhythmic.
Calming down after tantrums
I seem to be getting better at calming him down when he really throws a wobbly. I hold him on my lap (and he's happy to have the cuddles) and just rock back and forward gently. After ten minutes, or when I judge he's peaceful enough, I make a comment on something we can both see, or something about him. Eg. "There's a bird in the garden" or "You've got ten toes on your feet." I don't offer questions or abstract ideas - he seems to calm quicker if he focuses on something concrete.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Looks good, but...
Bright Eyes looks like he is interested in the alphabet, but actually he is scripting.
His script for the letters ABC is long and complicated and is completely taken from an introductory segment at the beginning of every ABC Kids video we own.
It goes like this:
duh duh duh duh duh dee da, A
duh duh deeeeeeeee, de de de, B
duh duh duh, duh duh duh, C
A. B. C.
We are the Hooley Dooleys, so how do you do,
We are the Hooley Dooleys, and who are you?
Trust Us, We're Bananas.
I'm Blinky, Blinky Bill.
A-A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K, A-A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K,
duh duh duh daa, do do duh dah, Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle!
Give yourselves a big clap everybody!
ABC. Bringing you the best in children's video.
(He gets a bit stuck on the Aardvark bit...)
In a related piece of news - he can spell his name, and even type it on the computer. I guess that's good!
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Carols chaos
Our town enjoys its annual Carols by the Lake, organised by the Lions Club. The way they attract a crowd is to invite every single group of children in the town that can sing a song or do a dance, and then watch their parents and grandparents roll up.
Bright Eyes' preschool and his sister's school choir were both asked to perform a couple of numbers, so I took all the children along to enjoy the concert.
The preschool was on first, and Bright Eyes was a star... sort of. Their first mistake was to put him near a microphone. He knows what they are, and he knows how to use them, so he spent the entire time making noises and saying 'Ssssh' into it. At one point he spontaneously introduced the next song, and he did all the 'Oys' at the right time, really loudly into the microphone at the end of the song lines.
The crowd thought he was hilarious. His sister thought he was embarrassing. I was torn between the two feelings. He was cute, sure, but I wished he could have even tried to sing along and do what everyone else was doing.
The honest truth? I think he was working the crowd! He knew they were laughing at him, and he liked the response and was angling for more.
(In the end, the excursion was a bit of a disaster. There were way too many flies and they were sticking to all of us, and Bright Eyes and his baby brother were getting more and more upset, so we left as soon as his sister's choir sang. I won't be taking them out alone again on a summer evening again for a while.)
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Photographer
The beauty of a relatively cheap digital camera is that the children can use it without us having to worry about them wasting film.
Bright Eyes loves our camera. One of his favourite afternoon activities is to walk around the house taking photos. Some of them are wonderful - a selection follows.
his view of mum in the kitchen
the inside of the washing machine
self-portrait... he held the camera out as far as he could and snapped
Bright Eyes loves our camera. One of his favourite afternoon activities is to walk around the house taking photos. Some of them are wonderful - a selection follows.
his view of mum in the kitchen
the inside of the washing machine 
self-portrait... he held the camera out as far as he could and snapped
Friday, December 7, 2007
Baby brother
I've mentioned Bright Eyes' little brother a few times, but I don't think I've told you that the two of them just don't get on!
It's not the little one's fault. He wants to play. He shows empathy when Bright Eyes is having a tantrum. He looks for him in the morning when he wakes up. He calls him "Ca-ca". It's really cute.
I just wonder how long his enthusiasm will last for, given that Bright Eyes hits, pushes or headbutts him at every single opportunity he can find. If I have the two boys in a room together, I have to be there with them, because it will only take one minute before one of them is yelling, either from frustration or from pain.
This is probably a normal sibling reaction, but I think it may be exacerbated by the fact that the baby represents uncertainty for Bright Eyes and dealing with him requires more flexibility than he is capable of... and that's the autism talking.
Monday, December 3, 2007
S-L-O-W D-O-W-N
Slowing down is such an important part of RDI. Why do I find it so very very difficult?
I'm the sort of person who has always done four things at once, while thinking about the fifth and sixth things to do at the same time. I like achievement. I like efficiency. I like competence. I like not wasting time. I finish people's sentences for them. I get impatient when I have to wait... for anything.
I'm a classic Type A personality. I create stress and panic when I can't. It's not a great way to live.
Our feedback from our consultant today was to give Bright Eyes more space to process and think, and to slow down ourselves as we do this.
I really appreciate feedback like this. It brings me back to the basics. I've been flapping around in my head, panicking madly for a number of weeks now, and feeling dreadful physically as I do it. So today I have been conscious of my breathing and conscious of needing to chill out and just calm down.
I think one reason is that I was busy looking for another 'magic bullet' to fix Bright Eyes. I need to remember that I've found that magic bullet already. It's called RDI. The only trouble is, it's not instant and its' going to take time, and I have to change myself to be able to make its magic work.
I'm the sort of person who has always done four things at once, while thinking about the fifth and sixth things to do at the same time. I like achievement. I like efficiency. I like competence. I like not wasting time. I finish people's sentences for them. I get impatient when I have to wait... for anything.
I'm a classic Type A personality. I create stress and panic when I can't. It's not a great way to live.
Our feedback from our consultant today was to give Bright Eyes more space to process and think, and to slow down ourselves as we do this.
I really appreciate feedback like this. It brings me back to the basics. I've been flapping around in my head, panicking madly for a number of weeks now, and feeling dreadful physically as I do it. So today I have been conscious of my breathing and conscious of needing to chill out and just calm down.
I think one reason is that I was busy looking for another 'magic bullet' to fix Bright Eyes. I need to remember that I've found that magic bullet already. It's called RDI. The only trouble is, it's not instant and its' going to take time, and I have to change myself to be able to make its magic work.
Today
Dentist! We went to the dentist to get my tooth fixed. I parked the little boys on chairs with a box of chips each while I got done, and they were beautiful (the boys, not the chips). Bright Eyes has been playing dentists with his sister, so he was interested in the chair and had a ride. He knew to go up and down, lie back, open his mouth and say ah, and then 'rinse and spit'.
I managed to cut his hair! He sat on the bench with a tape playing and was completely still while I trimmed around the ears and back. I didn't make a big fuss of it, just grabbed the scissors and began.
Eggs! He ate three of them for dinner. That makes me feel better about the week's nutrition. Plus I've been getting coconut kefir (a pro-biotic) into him via his juice and water.
Shopping! He was a great helper in the weekly supermarket trek today.
Poo! Not what you want to read about, but he had a normal motion yesterday. Wow. That's about the first one in a year.
Quite a few transition tantrums! I counted six of them all up. I did have a success with getting him out of one of them though. He was screeching "Noooo" at me. He wasn't too upset yet, so I imitated his face and his voice and screeched back at him "Noooooo?" and then gave him a silly look. It was as if he realised how ridiculous his yelling was. He stopped, smiled and then changed his voice and face to ask for what he wanted nicely. My goodness!
I managed to cut his hair! He sat on the bench with a tape playing and was completely still while I trimmed around the ears and back. I didn't make a big fuss of it, just grabbed the scissors and began.
Eggs! He ate three of them for dinner. That makes me feel better about the week's nutrition. Plus I've been getting coconut kefir (a pro-biotic) into him via his juice and water.
Shopping! He was a great helper in the weekly supermarket trek today.
Poo! Not what you want to read about, but he had a normal motion yesterday. Wow. That's about the first one in a year.
Quite a few transition tantrums! I counted six of them all up. I did have a success with getting him out of one of them though. He was screeching "Noooo" at me. He wasn't too upset yet, so I imitated his face and his voice and screeched back at him "Noooooo?" and then gave him a silly look. It was as if he realised how ridiculous his yelling was. He stopped, smiled and then changed his voice and face to ask for what he wanted nicely. My goodness!
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